I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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