the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
