If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
