so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My dick has a subreddit
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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