So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize