she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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