I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
