I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
