at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
