1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize