I'm lost and stupid without you.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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