some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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