fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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