she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
