I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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