im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Everclear isn't food dammit
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
