I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
