So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
