sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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