im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
