Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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