she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
