Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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