You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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