Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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