it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
