We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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