its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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