They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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