Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize