He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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