I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
