Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I AM VODKA MAN
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
