New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
