Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
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Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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