is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
