i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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