I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
