I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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