I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
