and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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