sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
