i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
