it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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