i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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