is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
