Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
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