So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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