there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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