What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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