Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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