Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
