O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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