youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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