im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
