But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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