she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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