She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
