why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
