He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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